?I?d love to share on AskLove, but I?m not sure that what I offer will be helpful, profound, or thorough enough.?


This is your head speaking. The point is to understand that of course this voice might arise when you try something new. Then, in spite of this, you break the ice. You start where you are. You make the shift and open to support and incredible inner power.


Here?s how you do it?


  1. Understand Why We Are in Our Heads

  2. See the Heart as Our Source of Wisdom

  3. Access the Heart’s Wisdom

  4. Take Action


Understand Why We Are in Our Heads

You have a heart. That?s all you need. And everyone holds their piece of the puzzle. Your voice truly matters. So what gets in the way?

First let?s recognize that we are so deeply conditioned to lead with our heads. No surprise given that we’ve been in the Age of Reason for the last few hundred years fueled by industry, science and technology.

We?ve been taught in our schools, families and media that if we just try harder, and figure in all of the variables, we?ll get the right answer. That?s what wisdom is, we?re told. Be smart and figure it out. If we don?t, it?s our fault. So when that inevitable conflict or issue comes along, we either react and regret it, or contract and spin in our heads.


See the Heart as Our Source of Wisdom

Our reasoning intellects, however, as amazing and powerful as they are, see things in pieces and parts. It is our hearts that see an interconnected whole. And that?s how reality actually is. We discover that wisdom isn?t a product of reasoning, it?s a result of connection. It?s not in our heads, it?s in our hearts. So when we lead from our hearts we tap wisdom itself and get our most realistic, effective responses.

Even when we recognize the heart as the seat of wisdom and therefore the source of our deepest power, making the shift to trusting it in the face of our conditioning can be a tall order. Whenever we do something new, there is built in uncertainty and we get the messages – Will it be good, helpful or thorough enough? If we just recognize this as an inevitable part of the process, we can get our feet wet, open the channel to our heart?s voice and greatly empower our lives while helping others and transforming our world.


Access the Heart’s Wisdom

How do we access that wisdom – our heart?s voice? Some people have a knack for listening to their hearts, but for some it might be confusing. How do I know the difference between my heart and my head?

This is where the practice of Stop, Drop & Ask (which I?ve demoed in a video here) comes in.


  1. First you Stop and recognize the issue at hand.

  2. Then you Drop your attention and the situation into your heart and just feel it. You might just feel your heart itself or imagine breathing the situation into your heart or imagine it floating in. You could put one or both of your hands on your heart. With practice, you may find your own technique.

  3. Then you ask your heart for guidance with sincerity and innocence. What emerges may be an intuition or an emotion, an image, a memory, maybe even words. Whatever arises, the intellect explores it to see if it makes sense, and, if so, supports and articulates the message.

  4. Now head and heart are aligned and we?ve tapped all of our centers of intelligence and we therefore access our fullest potential. When we lead with the head, however, the heart is left out.


Take Action

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. What will help you make that first response, ask that first question or share that first story? You could reflect on the fact that anything you?ve ever done that was truly worthwhile felt a little scary or awkward at first. It stretched you. And that?s a very good thing. It?s how we grow.

When we grow, we help ourselves and others – our greatest sense of meaning, satisfaction and happiness. When we grow collectively, we change our world. Just because you took that first step. Will you?