I have been thinking about Betrayal, brought up by our last Thursday zoom class. Unfortunately I needed to leave the class early, so I missed much of it. I have been thinking about “what betrayal means to me…?” And what comes up is sort of like this: a discovery that my trust and expectation is not what I hoped. Something or someone is different than I thought they were, a different opposite communication from previous communications. I have experienced betrayal for sure. It was extremely painful. The hardest part was the second arrow I would shoot at myself on top of the betrayal. I can say though, that although I would not wish it upon anyone, I learned and grew so much from the experiences. Mostly what I got that I’d like to share is that for me betrayal spoke more about the betrayer than me. When I really got that, I gained a sense of detachment to the whole issue. A sense of confidence, trust in myself. Leaving them to mirror their own issue. Freeing myself. I stop, and breath into this, I breath in clarity, and breath out freedom. I get a calm comforting feeling, right now it doesn’t feel expansive or contractive, just held. I continue to breath, and begin to feel a lighter more expansive feeling. I add a slight smile. 🌝 What a journey to here…! I feel grateful for my experience bringing me to where I am now. I am just wondering what came up for everyone else around betrayal?
Thank you for your share, I learned from it. I have been sitting with ‘what is trust and how is it developed. In my body I feel a slight contraction in th center of my chest, but mostly spaciousness. I trust my ears to hear, my eyes to see, my senses to inform me. It seems like, for me, trust is developed thru consistency, the ground beneath me and the sky above. The awareness that doesn’t change. I trust my dog loves me, not so sure about the cats. I’m still looking, but don’t have concrete answers. I think I’ll listen to the talk again…it was deep. Betrayal seems only to happen in the human realm, to me. I can’t see betrayal in nature.
blessings to you,
When I read your message I felt so much clarity and I started noticing the ways I betray myself. How can I betray myself? That’s wild—- but I do—— all The times I choose to ignore and not too listen… there is a feeling of confusion- wondering which parts of myself I should trust. Noticing my heart is beating differently —- knowing I shouldn’t do certain things and doing them anyway.. feels lonely— feeling sadness in my heart and loneliness…my heart comes to comfort me and hold me… loving me just where I am and just how I am.
I noticed that you left early because I am aware of you and appreciate your participation on this forum. Betrayal by another is a big topic for me since I recently experienced this with a teacher.. I like what you said about betrayal being more about the betrayer than the person being betrayed. For me it spoke of my naivete to have been so trusting but the distortion in the other was huge for this to have happened.