Following through with what you say

    Hi. I am coming into this precious space feeling a little scared, vulnerable, raw, exposed. I feel a tingly light headed feeling running from the top of my head down to my stomach….  I am having difficulty understanding why when we entered this Heart Fluency Ego class, I thought the request was that we need to write on this site once a day…? Perhaps I misinterpreted things? Did I?  If it is true that we were to write each day here, why isn’t everybody honoring their agreement? I am open to understand this….  It means alot to me to follow through with what I said I would do. I want people to trust me for my word. And following through is something that makes me feel good as well. It feels very nurturing to me. I am from the east coast, and just used to most people doing what they say they are going to do. I really hate to generalize…. but when we initially moved out to CA, we noticed many not doing what they said they were going to do…?! Just noticing… curious…  The plus is that things are a lot more relaxed out here, the minus is not valuing or being able to trust another’s word or commitment…? Not trying to instill guilt, just trying to notice the pink elephant in the room, that people aren’t writing everyday as agreed…? I do find this upsetting. That’s my truth. I feel a bit scared saying it. I feel vulnerable. I recognize not feeling like Doing it, and then I also recognize I agreed I would do it.  I really find coming here rather Therapeutic, whether anyone responds or not.  I feel good about it. For me it is the writing process that sets me free. For me, this is my place to be 100% real.  I just thought the deal was one had to write here everyday…?! And turning out, not so. I am writing this because it was up for me.  Thanks for listening. And hope you are all doing well. ❤️

      I had the same understanding that we were agreeing to write daily on this site in exchange for the class. I put a lot of value on keeping my word. And I have also felt that in this context we are also practicing self-compassion. For me that meant not being too hard on myself when I did not post something everyday. I got into a rhythm of posting several things every few days and I felt I was keeping with the spirit of the agreement. Of course that was just my way of seeing it.  But then this last last week came and went and I had forgotten for a week! I am energized by others participation and I have seen how it has dropped off. And we are soon to have our last class so I don’t anticipate much more activity here. I am also really curious as to why this doesn’t flow easily for many others. I imagine Bruce will want to look at that. I personally seldom go on facebook or other online forums. I would rather zoom with others. But I sure appreciate you Annie and your faithfulness to keeping your agreements. That is a beautiful quality.

      Responded on June 2, 2020.

        Blessings, Annie–  Thank you for your vulnerable share.    My heart feels a contraction and there is a desire to defend myself and also a feeling of some shame.   I made the committment and I think have not followed thru 4 or 5 times.   I mostly post responses and have only posted one or two stories/questions.   I’m aware that things come up during the day that I’d like to write about, but at night, when I sit down to post, I often am just plain tired.   I have realized that posting earlier in the day would be the better way to go about it.   When I do post, it does feel good and I’d like to experiment with posting more stories/questions.   I really like this platform, but I am someone who doesn’t like to be on a computer any more than I have to…its not a modality that feeds my spirit.   I’m more of an outside in nature kind of person, working with my hands.  In fact this is the first social media that I’ve used and I think this one makes more sense than facebook or….because its got a heart focus.

        All that said, I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability.    Thank you.

         

          Hi Muffy, thanks for sharing. This is kind of hard bringing this up, I fear people won’t like me, and I will be called “ Miss Goody Two Shoes” as I was called growing up…! I feel anxiety all over, I stop and breath… I come to my truth, which is it is upsetting to me that people will agree to something, and then not honor their commitment. I just really value keeping my word. I remember Bruce saying in I think the second class, something like, that he doesn’t always feel like writing here everyday either. It crossed my mind that maybe he then relinquished his request of writing every day…? Maybe it was interpreted that way…? I don’t always feel like it either, but I see the value in the discipline of the practice, and having done so, I notice the benefits, which has then reinforced my desire to write everyday regardless if anyone else does. So I am good with that. I also partly have wanted to advocate for this to help the larger picture of supportIng Bruce’s request and strengthening our heart fluency community. I feel complete with voicing this, and I feel I can now move past this. Thank you again Muffy for your feedback! ❤️

            Thanks so much Virginia for sharing .❤️

              This is a great discussion. Thank you for sharing. I can relate to all of what is being said. I sometimes posted several things a day, lots of stories and some days I didn’t feel I had anything to say. Perhaps Bruce could change the type of comittment he is asking. Because it doesn’t seem to work for even himself! At first it was going to be 15 minutes a day and I know I couldn’t do that. And I have to add I also like to keep my word. There were many days where I felt lonely on this forum, like no one was there. And still I posted just because I said I would. So I don’t have a clear answer either or a suggestion on how it could work better for people. Perhaps Bruce could charge for the class and for those that keep their comittment there would not be a charge? I don’t know. It would be nice if people felt comfortable with this and were joyfully motivated instead of needing a bribe…   ah well. There is a lot up for humans right now for sure. And Bruce’s mom’s situation too. I had a feeling that perhaps Bruce’s regular presence here would make a difference.     thanks for sharing  you all

              Responded on June 6, 2020.